As I think about Thanksgiving weekend, I find myself reflecting on my experience of leaving my home country, Romania, and building a new life in Canada.
Immigrating has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life. It came with both excitement and grief. On one hand, I felt I had betrayed my family and disappointed my parents and sister by leaving. On the other, I was excited to discover a new world and build my own family here. There is more to this story, but I am not ready to share all of it today.
Over the years, through conversations with people who have their own immigration stories, I have come to realize that leaving our home country can involve a kind of grief we don’t always recognize. We leave behind more than family and familiar places. We leave a version of ourselves, the life we knew, the relationships that shaped us, and the comfort of understanding how things work around us.
We arrive in a new country with hopes and expectations, often believing that hard work and determination will help us build the life we envision. And while they can take us a long way, they don’t necessarily prepare us for everything we will experience along the way.
Immigration asks us to adapt on many levels. We learn a new language, navigate unfamiliar systems, adjust to different customs, and discover that the values and ways of thinking that served us well at home may not always translate into a new culture.
This process requires more than resilience. It requires self-awareness: the willingness to understand what we bring with us, question our assumptions, and recognize what we may need to change or unlearn.
Sometimes, building a new life means learning not only how to fit into a new environment, but also who we are becoming in the process.
One of the most painful parts of immigration is missing family moments. Christmas, Easter, birthdays, weddings, and the ordinary gatherings that once felt like a natural part of life become occasions marked by distance.
In my case, I prioritized travelling to Romania minimum, once a year, sometime twice. Yet, despite making that effort, I still feel homesick.
Others may return home every five or ten years. Some cannot afford to travel, while others may never have the opportunity to see their families again. There are conversations, celebrations, and ordinary days together that cannot be recovered.
We can be grateful for the life we have built while still missing the life we left behind. These feelings don’t cancel each other out. Perhaps one of the hardest parts is learning to live with both.
When the need to belong shapes our choices
I have often reflected on how the emotional experience of immigration can influence our relationship with work.
For some of us, work becomes more than a career. It offers structure, connection, purpose, and an opportunity to prove ourselves in an unfamiliar environment. When family and long-standing friendships are far away, colleagues can become an important part of our social world. They become our second family.
We may work harder and longer, invest deeply in our professional relationships, and strive to build a career that gives us a sense of security and achievement. Sometimes, we may even place more emotional weight on our workplace than we realize.
I wonder how often this is connected to our need to feel that we belong somewhere.
When we invest so much of ourselves in an organization, we may expect loyalty, fairness, and genuine care in return. Sometimes we find those things. Other times, we discover that the relationships we valued do not mean the same thing to everyone.
Being overlooked, experiencing injustice, or losing a job can then feel like more than a professional setback. It can challenge our sense of identity, security, and belonging.
I have learned that we need to be mindful of where we place our emotional expectations. Our work can be meaningful, and our colleagues can become genuine friends, but our entire sense of belonging cannot depend on one organization or one professional identity.
Building friendships outside work, creating community, and allowing ourselves to develop connections beyond our professional lives are equally important.
This is not always easy when we are working hard to establish ourselves, supporting our families, or simply trying to make ends meet.
The early years of immigration can be particularly challenging. Many people find themselves working outside their professions or putting their ambitions on hold because they need to pay the bills. Their qualifications and previous experience may not be fully recognized, and rebuilding a career can take years.
These circumstances don’t define a person’s abilities or potential. They are part of a reality that can require patience, adaptation, and support.
What belonging asks of us
These reflections have also made me think about leadership and the role workplaces can play in helping people feel included.
As leaders, we see the professional side of people: their performance, responsibilities, decisions, and results. We may know very little about what they are navigating outside work.
We may not know that someone has missed another family celebration, a funeral or is struggling to find their place in a new culture, or is trying to rebuild a professional identity after years of experience elsewhere.
We don’t need to know every detail of someone’s personal life to lead with greater understanding. Sometimes, it starts with asking questions, listening without assumptions, offering guidance, and creating an environment where people feel comfortable being themselves.
But I also believe integration is not a one-sided responsibility.
Those who move to a new country need to be open to learning, adapting, and understanding the culture around them. At the same time, workplaces and communities can make an effort to understand different cultural backgrounds and recognize that people may approach communication, relationships, and work differently. This requires curiosity on both sides.
It also requires us to reflect on our own assumptions. What seems obvious to us may not be obvious to someone else. What we interpret as a lack of confidence, for example, may reflect a different communication style or uncertainty about unfamiliar expectations.
We cannot remove every difficulty from someone’s immigration journey. But we can make that journey less lonely by creating opportunities for people to learn, contribute, connect, and feel valued.
Gratitude and grief can coexist
As I reflect this Thanksgiving weekend, I think about those who don’t have family nearby to celebrate with, those who cannot afford to travel home, and those who quietly struggle to find their place in a new country.
I think about the courage it takes to leave a familiar life behind and the patience required to build a new one. I also think about how easily we can overlook the emotional side of this journey because we see only what people have achieved, not everything it took to get there.
Perhaps we can all do a little more to understand one another. We can offer guidance, make an effort to include someone, ask a question, or simply recognize that there may be more to someone’s story than we see.
This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for the life I have built in Canada. I am also grateful for the experiences that have challenged me to understand myself and others more deeply.
Leaving Romania changed my life in ways I am still learning to understand. I have learned that moving forward does not mean forgetting where we came from, and building a new home does not mean we stop missing the old one.
We can be grateful for the life we have built and still grieve the life we left behind. Both can be true at the same time.
Sometimes, helping someone feel that they belong begins with recognizing what they may have had to leave behind.
As someone who deeply believes in human connection and understanding people beyond the surface, I believe leadership starts with seeing the person behind the role. It means recognizing that each person has different experiences, challenges, and needs, and being willing to adapt our leadership approach accordingly. Sometimes, leading well begins with understanding what we may not see and creating an environment where people feel understood, valued, and supported.
#LeadershipDevelopment #InclusiveLeadership #SelfAwareness #HumanConnection #Belonging #Immigration
