Relationships are everything in life. The quality of your life and happiness is directly related to the quality of your relationships. Relationships are an exchange of energy, and in the Universe, what we give we attract and vice versa. The ability to form good relationships, both personal and professional, is what matters most. Through relationships, we learn about ourselves and others and grow. To keep and maintain strong relationships takes time and energy. Through friendships, we learn and become better versions of ourselves. If you want to be happier, look at your relationships and surround yourself with people who care about you.
North America has one of the highest ratios of loneliness in the world, despite people having more material things and higher standards of living. One out of five people suffers from loneliness, anxiety, and depression. People work long hours, and the culture is often centered around themselves first. In other cultures, the focus is on building a stronger community and putting others first, which brings so much fulfillment and the sense of belonging we crave as humans. No one is happy being alone.
I love building relationships that last and being there for people when they need someone to lift them up or cheer them on. For a relationship to work, it must be a win-win. I don’t need to call my friends every day, but I need to know they are there for me when I need them, and vice versa. Give and take are equally important, and this applies to professional relationships too. If you are the only one who reaches out all the time, there are no real relationships, it is one-sided and will never work long-term. A true relationship is when both parties acknowledge the effort of the other and want to be part of it. This is where the magic happens.
Here are a few things I like doing when building relationships:
- Connect with people from all social circles, get curious, and learn. Everyone has a story and so much to give to the world. I learn so much through conversations.
- Encourage conversations that feel real and have no set agenda. In Canada, people can get so busy that sometimes they need a reason to meet. You can’t really build a relationship when there is an objective and time is limited, I don’t really like that. Real conversations happen when we truly connect and can be ourselves. In my home country, many people connect over coffee, meals, or drinks with no agenda just for socialization. When I travel to Romania to see my family, our home is full of people. We eat, we share, we laugh together, we connect. Isn’t that great?
- Most of my strong business and personal relationships have formed over meals and coffees, and I resonate well with people who are used to this approach. The travel industry is known for building connections this way.
- Reach out to people to check in on them and see how they are doing during key moments of their lives. These moments are priceless for people. Never cut those moments short, be there for them. A simple “hello”, “how are you doing?” or “I am thinking of you” makes a huge difference for some people, especially when they are going through a hard time either in personal or professional time. Emotional support is what people need in these moments.
- Reach out to people you know when they get a new job, lose their job, have a birthday, or celebrate Christmas, Easter, or other events, or when remembering something you learned from them. These small moments of appreciation are priceless and important.
- Be there for people when they are down or when they need help the most. For some, just having time to chat is all they need to feel supported, but in North America, every minute costs money. If you want to help someone, make time for them and offer your unconditional support. There is nothing more important in life than truly caring about someone else, and these are perfect moments to show your appreciation.
- Asking for help is very difficult for many people due to various stigmas; this is why offering help without being asked is appreciated by many. Asking for help is key to staying healthy, and giving it without being asked is powerful.
- Take the time to share and help people, because when you help others, you send good energy into the Universe for yourself and your family. My way of giving back is most of the above for my close contacts, and writing on my blog and LinkedIn, hoping it reaches as many people as possible who may need it.
Building relationships takes effort and a lot of time, but without putting time into it, there are no relationships. So next time you find yourself lonely, ask yourself how much time you have dedicated to building relationships.
Ask yourself:
- Do you reach out to people, or do you wait for others to do it?
- Do you check in on your colleagues?
- Do you contact people only when you need something?
- How do you build and keep your relationships?
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With love and gratitude,
Dana
