16 years ago, a day before Thanksgiving, I moved to Canada. I was 25 yrs old.
After spending a good portion of my life in Romania, where I had my family, friends, colleagues, and other connections, moving to a new country, culture, and language was quite a challenge. There was excitement to try something new and nostalgia for the family I left behind.
It took me some years to build a strong network of friends and feel at home. However, thanks to my profession in the travel industry (which gave me opportunities to travel abroad), the people I met in Canada, and the opportunities that came my way, I was able to overcome some of these challenges more easily. The journey of a newcomer was not easy; however, it was rewarding. It came with personal and professional growth and a lot of hard work.
As I reflect on my experience as an adult immigrant in Canada, the biggest challenges were:
- Mastering the language at the same level as someone born here. No matter how well you speak English, you’ll never feel your language is good enough. You’ll constantly doubt yourself and overthink about how to phrase things. In my opinion, the belief that your language is not as good as a native is holding immigrants back. It took me 10 years to overcome this barrier and I am not sure I’ll fully overcome it… As you climb up the ladder, the language pressure is much higher. The mental pressure of making a mistake could be higher, especially when you do public speaking. I find that the best way to deal with it is to accept the fact that you are doing your best. I learned to make fun of those situations, however, it can get uncomfortable sometimes.
- Feeling of belonging in a workplace. This is a large topic to cover since few organizations I’ve had experience with have programs of diversity and inclusion. The best way to help someone new to feel included is to show interest in learning about his/her life (customs, traditions, food, etc.), show appreciation for where the person came from, and most importantly include them in your conversations. There is no better way to welcome someone new than being interested in their lives.
- Finding your first job that pays you fairly for your qualifications or at the same level as locals. A new immigrant works much harder to prove his/her worth and the first roles are the most difficult to get. They often get roles that no one wants or are hard to do. They rarely ask for salary increases and end up working more for less. Being well-informed is key in the first years in the country. Building a professional network in Canada early in the years is key to success.
- Networking in Canada. To build a network in Canada it takes time, especially if your education was mostly abroad. In the beginning, language and cultural barriers could play a big factor in social interaction, outside of your community, and the feeling that your language skills are not good enough could prevent you from not attending certain events or avoiding certain conversations. Meeting someone for a coffee without any expectations, like in Europe is not common, except if you have a close relationship. Everyone is much busier and distances are far, therefore time for social interaction outside of work could be a challenge. As a person focused on building relationships and deep connections over coffee or meals, it took me some time to learn to network here and I am still learning. Unfortunately, I do find networking is a true challenge for many people including locals, and the biggest opportunity to keep the relationships going.
- Making new friends: As a newcomer, making new friends is key to helping you overcome the nostalgia and what you left home. It could take a while to make good friends who share the same values as you. You could feel lonely, not understood, or included due to differences in culture, language, and traditions. The reality is there are a lot of people in the same situation as you. Finding people with the same values as you is key to creating long-lasting relationships. There is a tendency to make friends in the community who speak your native language since it is easier to maintain customs and traditions and increase belonging. From my perspective, making friends from different cultural communities is great as you’ll get to understand different perspectives and challenges and most importantly expand your network, while continuing to practice the language.
If you read this message and you are a new immigrant, you are not alone, we all experienced it firsthand. It can get lonely, but stay strong. You’ve come so far and Canada is a great country to live in.
If you were born in Canada and are reading this article, please do your best to provide support to the newcomers, and include them in your lives and conversations. Make them feel at home and consider them for opportunities.
As I look back, there are a lot of things to be grateful for. Some of them include:
- My family I built in Canada and my family I left home. They love me unconditionally and have always stood by me through the ups and downs that life comes with.
- My close friends who check on me and give me the love and support to keep going.
- Travel Industry contacts, colleagues, ex-colleagues, executives, mentors, and coaches, who showed up in my life. I am so grateful for the experiences you all made possible for me during this time.
- The new connections I make every day through business interactions, coaching, LinkedIn messages, and various other projects.
- To my lovely neighbors who often show up to say “hi”, check on us, and offer to take care of our home when we are away. This makes such a difference, especially when your extended family is abroad…
To all of you who helped me shape who I am today, I am grateful for those experiences and that you exist in my life.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all of you!
